Social Cycles...
Do you ever feel like so many things in life go in cycles?
At times I feel bombarded with social invitations, people calling on the phone, asking us to do fun stuff. I like the people, and I like to do fun stuff, and sometimes I find it hard to say "no" so I get a little overwhelmed with no free quiet time.
At those times, I feel like I can do no wrong as far as other people are concerned. I get away with bad behavior, and people are still loving and forgiving. I make new friends easily and I find much in common with many. People go out of their way to do nice thoughtful things for me and I'm very grateful and appreciative. I try to do the same in return. I feel like everything falls into place and there are coincidences linking all around me.
Well, this is not one of those times.
I'm afraid I might be heading towards the opposite of that cycle, in which I seem to have conflicts with people that arise out of seemingly innocuous circumstances. Forces align that are not in my favor, and if I make a mistake, however small, you can be sure it will snowball and people will not be forgiving. Random strangers are grumpy and rude. People I work with flip out at me in outrageous ways. My friends don't seem to be calling as often, or they are preoccupied with their own complicated situations. I become a little paranoid, which just adds to the whole thing.
Now I know you are thinking: "Yeah, duh! It probably has something to do with the way YOU are acting! Examine yourself and find out why this is". Well, I swear, I'm acting the same as I always do!!!! Really! I'm not perfect, but who is?
What seems to be happening is that people around me are acting like assholes for their own reasons, and choose me as a target, or perhaps as catalyst for their crazy crap. I know this sounds implausible, but it's true! :-)
And I bet you're thinking: "Suuuuuure.... it has nothing to do with you.... right. " OK, maybe I'm giving off a hostile vibe and I don't know it? Or I have a "kick me" sign on my back?
But honestly, I think I'm keeping my head and responding very calmly, confidently and rationally to some people who are behaving irrationally. I feel proud of myself for staying in control when these things happen, but I also feel worried that I'm entering a social "downcycle" in which I need to be alert because this stuff is bound to keep happening for awhile. So.....(deep breath) I must remain calm and not add fuel to the fire.
I'm now afraid that by writing this, I will alienate all of my readers and they will think I'm a loser and shun me! So, tell me the truth, do you think this stuff about social cycles is all in my head? Do you have social cycles like this, or is it just me?
At times I feel bombarded with social invitations, people calling on the phone, asking us to do fun stuff. I like the people, and I like to do fun stuff, and sometimes I find it hard to say "no" so I get a little overwhelmed with no free quiet time.
At those times, I feel like I can do no wrong as far as other people are concerned. I get away with bad behavior, and people are still loving and forgiving. I make new friends easily and I find much in common with many. People go out of their way to do nice thoughtful things for me and I'm very grateful and appreciative. I try to do the same in return. I feel like everything falls into place and there are coincidences linking all around me.
Well, this is not one of those times.
I'm afraid I might be heading towards the opposite of that cycle, in which I seem to have conflicts with people that arise out of seemingly innocuous circumstances. Forces align that are not in my favor, and if I make a mistake, however small, you can be sure it will snowball and people will not be forgiving. Random strangers are grumpy and rude. People I work with flip out at me in outrageous ways. My friends don't seem to be calling as often, or they are preoccupied with their own complicated situations. I become a little paranoid, which just adds to the whole thing.
Now I know you are thinking: "Yeah, duh! It probably has something to do with the way YOU are acting! Examine yourself and find out why this is". Well, I swear, I'm acting the same as I always do!!!! Really! I'm not perfect, but who is?
What seems to be happening is that people around me are acting like assholes for their own reasons, and choose me as a target, or perhaps as catalyst for their crazy crap. I know this sounds implausible, but it's true! :-)
And I bet you're thinking: "Suuuuuure.... it has nothing to do with you.... right. " OK, maybe I'm giving off a hostile vibe and I don't know it? Or I have a "kick me" sign on my back?
But honestly, I think I'm keeping my head and responding very calmly, confidently and rationally to some people who are behaving irrationally. I feel proud of myself for staying in control when these things happen, but I also feel worried that I'm entering a social "downcycle" in which I need to be alert because this stuff is bound to keep happening for awhile. So.....(deep breath) I must remain calm and not add fuel to the fire.
I'm now afraid that by writing this, I will alienate all of my readers and they will think I'm a loser and shun me! So, tell me the truth, do you think this stuff about social cycles is all in my head? Do you have social cycles like this, or is it just me?
posted by Kate at 10:30 AM
12 Comments:
Yes, I totally have social cycles! I am not sure why they go up or down. It's probably beyond my ken. (((K)))
xo
thalia
Will and I joke that at any one time, one of our cats is "popular." We have no idea why, but it's true. They are the same three cats at all times, but sometimes Julie is SO popular, and sometimes Julie is evil and Goo is popular, and sometimes Al-Rashid is just so insanely popular and all the other cats suck. We sit with the popular cat on the couch in our little clique and say, "Omigod, can you believe how annoying and fat [other cat] is? Wouldn't it be nice if she were outside and the door was locked? Ha ha ha ha ha!" And we give the popular cat a little extra treat and scratch behind the ears and tell them they rule.
Why do we do this?
We did not start acting like this because we thought it would be funny to pretend one cat was popular. We just realized that sometimes one cat is just more popular, period.
Sometimes I am pretty sure that the cats have their own popularity system. Some days, Will is clearly the more popular monkey. He'll have three cats all over him on the couch, and I'll be at the other end with no cats. And then sometimes all three cats are around the bedroom door mewling for me to come out, while Will is sitting lonely on the couch shouting out offers, "I'll pet you! Plenty of lap here! Lots of headscratches! Come on over!"
Mysterious fluctuations of popularity, it seems, are inter-special.
OMG - I just came off one of those cycles and am in a lull before the next one starts. I hope it goes back up for you soon!!!
Will you please tell me if I am acting irrationally?
Love ya!
Thanks guys!
Tania, you crack me up. :-)
Jean-Bean, (a.k.a. "Bubbles") YOU are in *no way* the problem!!! In fact, you are a loyal pal through thick and thin. :-) I totally want you to come to 6 flags with us next week!
I think you know who I'm talking about in this entry, (we talked about it at lunch yesterday).
I'm feeling better now, BTW. Thanks for covering my Ref shift. Love, KM
thanks Kate! i'm going to run the 6 flags idea by the hubbie this weekend ~ oh, check out my blog, i wrote about my Today Show experience ... ;-)
have a great weekend!!
Weirdly, I seem to be going through a rediscover long-lost friends cycle. I was happy enough to bump into one person I hadn't seen in almost ten years, but just a few days later I've run into one more!
gosh awmighty, i don't visit your blog for like a week and boom! pictures of cute bird galore!
and no, you are not alienating this here reader
and yes, social cycles exist (although i'm out of the loop on holiday - but who knows what i will return to next week? i feel a big fat slump coming on after the high of three weeks with friends and family around...)
xxx
Yeah, I think the cycles exist. No, I won't shun you ... but wish you weren't in fear of that. That's the best, when YOU decide the cycles: "This week, I shall be outgoing and effervescent." "This week, I shall retreat to my bed, where I will eat ice cream bonbons and read trash." Otherwise just float on top of the moods as if they were a still-as-a-mirror lake. btw, I've seen your face. Who couldn't love that face? xoxoxo
sending you extra kisses:
xxxxxxxxx
hope you are feeling better.
thalia
Boy, Kate, you and I are in this together. A close friend has done a deep freeze act on me and I am hurt and so sad. Nothing between us is coming out right. And other things aren't going too well, either. I have had the same feeling of bad star alignment or something.
The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in ourselves, but in our stars.
xoxo,
L
You guys are so cool.
Micki: You're face is pretty loveable too! :-)
Laura, I just read that Mercury is in retrograde, which is supposed to mean it's a bad time for communication. I don't normally follow astrology, but hey, who knows? :-)
Hope things get better for you soon. Love, KM
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