Friday, June 10, 2005

A Part of Nature.

I just wrote this email to a friend who has a new baby. She says "sleep deprivation is not fun". I know just what she means. Here's what I wrote:

Oh yeah, that hell of sleep deprivation, I remember it well. It seems like it went on forever, but of course, looking back, it seemed like not that long.

I'm sorry Hon. It gets better, so much, much better. But it takes a while. You are in the hardest part, I think. (Of course, I haven't done the teenage thing yet, so...)

I think it is really smooth sailing after age 3. I know that sounds so far away that you think you can't stand it, but oddly when I look back it seems like no time at all. Lots of comfort that is to you, eh? LOL.

Anyway, You are tough, you can get through it! Baby boot-camp. :-)

Today Danny found a little butterfly in the driveway that was almost dead. He wanted to bring it to school to ask Mrs. C., his teacher, to help him with it. "She knows a lot more about butterflies than I do". He said. He said that he wanted Mrs. C. to help him with it because he wanted it to live long enough to mate and lay eggs so it wouldn't become endangered! :-)

I told him they wouldn't let him bring bugs on the bus so he asked me to drive him to school. I knew it would make me late for work, but I did it anyway.

He cupped it very tenderly in his hands and kept it from blowing away.

In the car I said something about "your butterfly" and he looked angry. He interrupted me and said "It's not *my* butterfly, Mom! It belongs to itself! It is part of nature. It doesn't belong to me or anybody."

I know that story is overly-precious and in some ways you may be thinking "Oh yeah, thanks. That's what I get in exchange for all these dirty diapers and sleepless nights and no free time to think or read or have sex and no privacy etc etc?"

Yeah, that's it. :-)


Blogger cjblue said...

Kate, that's a beautiful post. I love your son - we really do need to get our kids together. And you are a wonderful mom.

Funny about the sleep deprivation; I just had this conversation with a friend who is worried about that. That part lasts 5 months, tops. Both times I had kids I really started to enjoy them after the first few months, and began to regain my sense of self after the first year. That first year though, wondrous as it was, was never about me. After the first birthday it was as if a fog lifted and I'd start wearing jewelry again and doing things for myself.

Each new age comes with its own set of joys and difficulties. With my first daughter, each new thing was my new favorite thing. I now realize that it might be that way for a long time. I still fear for my daughters' teen years, thinking back on my own. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, ages 4 & 7, they're pretty freaking cool.

8:50 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

Thank you! I would love to get our kids together Ruth! :-)

Danny is 7 too. I agree, actually 4-7 have been *very* amazing. But that early stuff, while I loved the poop out of that kid, for me, it was hard.

But everyone is different. I'm glad you adapted faster than I did. :-)

And I know if I did it again it wouldn't be so hard, because I'd see it in the context of the larger picture, and I would have been through it all before.

So hang in there, moms! :-)

9:03 AM  
Blogger Tania said...

Danny is awesome. His eco-friendly semantics with you are hilarious. Maybe instead of "your butterfly" you should have said, "your pal, the butterfly."

11:11 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

T - Thank you, I think he's awesome too. Yes, that would have been a better way to put it. After he said that I realize that I do say "my apple tree" or "our bluejays". He's actually right, they aren't mine and he noticed that. :-)

12:00 PM  

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